"Successful marriages still exist with proof of God's Blessings", Talabi encourages youths
Pastor Mrs. Atinuke Talabi, the convener of the Cleave ministry, a member of the Cherubim and Seraphim Movement Church, Surulere District in a chat with our Seraphstories' correspondent Shola Afolabi.
Can we meet you ma?
My name is Atinuke Oyinlade Talabi, a passionate lover of Jesus Christ, who has by Grace made me a Wife, Mother, Pastor, Counselor, Nurse/Midwife, Writer, and Convener of Cleave Ministry.
How have been able to manage to be a wife, a mother, a nurse/midwife, a writer, and a minister without one affecting the other?
Simply put, it's by;
•Mercy and Grace of God
•Marrying the Right man who fully supports God's Purpose in my life
•Discipline and Focus
Tell us about your ministry as a marriage counselor?
Now, being a Marriage Counselor was birthed in the bid to offer solutions when I discovered that divorce and separation in marriages were becoming an epidemy in Christiandom. Young couples were giving up their Marriages as if there are no gross repercussions to their actions. Hence in my mother's church, some of us gathered and researched the will of God for marriages. This brought us face to face with the Tremendous Glory Marriage offers those who practice it in God's way. And we started training and Counseling youths and adults who care to listen about it. And it was not long, it became a mandate to me by God under Cleave Ministry.
Were you born into the C&S fold or did you join the fold through marriage?
My parents brought us into C & S as adolescents. And so I grew up in the Children Ministry of my Church, then into the Youth Fellowship where I got married to a member as well.
With your experience so far in the ministry, what can you say about the relationships and marriages of today?
From my brief introduction above, you will see that we have some couples who know what they are doing and are enjoying their marriages. But the higher percentage is just a mess. This is a lot of negativity that is common in the relationship and marriages of today, which is why we are here and doing what we are doing. These unpalatable experiences include;
1) Mental and emotional immaturity before engaging in a relationship and marriage.
2) Low intelligence/skills about the relationship before entering into it, and even within marriage.
3) Effect of Other social vices with the wrong mentality against marriage which affects the mindset of this generation towards marriage eg feminism movement, legalization of homosexuality, etc
4) Lack of spiritual capacity to handle issues of life etc
All the above to mention a few are the common experience in today's relationships and marriages which promote infidelity, the enmity between couples, domestic violence, separation, divorce, murder, etc
But still, God is faithful because I can boldly say that ' Successful Marriages' are still existing with proofs of God's Blessings Manifesting inside out on them. And that is why my slogan is "Marriage is Honourable" and not a curse or battleground as people tag it now.
Are there perfect marriages; no misunderstanding, fight, or quarrel?
Lots of laughs, this is like asking "Do the teeth never bite the tongue since they are always together?"
The truth is, it is those you love most that will offend you 'painfully'. There are times your perception of things differs and you don't agree at all. Hence there are bound to be an argument, misunderstandings, and quarrels. But not to the extremes because this is where emotional intelligence and maturity come into play, to ensure stability, sanity, and serenity for those in God's Kingdom living by his (God's) principle.
Dr. D. K Olukoya once wrote something, and I quote; "there is nothing like a perfect Marriage. Each relationship has its set of problems. When we choose the path of love and maturity all the time, we will quickly resolve our differences, and will be building our home on the right foundation." And this is the absolute truth!
Are there criteria to look out for in choosing a life partner?
Capital YES! Even God gave criteria/specifications to His children in the Bible when it comes to who to Marry.
They include the following;
1) such must be a child of God so you won't have the devil as your father-in-law as they use to say.
2) such must have the knowledge and the fear of God, so you won't be dragged back or diverted into sin/idolatry
3) such must be mature not physically alone but mentally, emotionally, socially, spiritually, etc
4) such must be skilled, visionary, and productive, with Prosperity inclination at least... etc
We are not limited to the above alone, but above all APPROVAL by God is very paramount because he sees what no man can see when it comes to marriage. Therefore allow God to choose for you, lead you to the right person He purposes for you and will become Testimonies.
What are the common mistakes people make before marriage which sometimes become a challenge for them when they get into the marriage?
These have been answered in "experience on relationship and marriage of today". Hence the mistakes of youths before marriage can be grouped into two;
1) Not knowing their God and developing a relationship with Him so that they can identify their purpose in life and walk in Divine guidance all their days.
2) Not having Adequate knowledge/skills on principles that aid marital union.
All other mistakes, misconceptions, wrong attitudes.
What major challenge(s) should one watch out for in a marriage and what are the possible ways to curb it?
This has the same root as common mistakes before marriage. I don't want to pick an issue because the devil actually can use the most minute thing to wreak havoc in a marriage. But let me say this, the inability of a spouse to fully understand his/ her roles in marriage and take full responsibility is a major mistake. Hence, our knowledge and practice of this truth must be total to enjoy heaven on earth in marriage.
What advice will you give the youths who are also planning to go into the institution called marriage?
1. Ensure you know Jesus first and have a strong relationship with Him, so you can be strong and prepared for every challenge of life, especially in marriage then your victory will be sure.
2. Ensure you get knowledge to get equipped for the journey. All these include
•Spiritual intelligence (place of family spiritual altar, Bible devotion, e.t.c)
•Financial intelligence; be empowered
•Emotional intelligence; wisdom to balance your temperament and sexual life in marriage
•Relational intelligence; wisdom to manage your inlaws, friends, relatives successfully e.t.c
•Health intelligence; wisdom to manage your health and live long as a couple
•Parenthood; wisdom to raise great and impactful children
All these are complete recipes for a successful marriage.
Can you tell us about your book ma?
The book "Revelation of your authority", was written by the inspiration of the Holy Ghost in the bid to reveal to every child of God the power and rights they have in Jesus to rule this world. It is a very easy-to-read book with lots of information and practical experience of how to understand purpose as a youth and do exploits.
A copy is a thousand naira and it is available on Amazon and Seed house at C and S Church, Ayo Ni o, Sanya bus stop Surulere.
As a Member of the C&S church, what are the things you love about the church?
• I love the name Cherubim and Seraphim which is identified with the host of heaven and this gives me a sense of friendship with the Host of Heaven.
• I love our worship and that is what they do in heaven most.
• I love most the gospel of Jesus and the demonstration of the gift of the Holy Spirit that is dynamic in the church, it makes me feel heaven even while still on Earth (laughed out loud).
Tell us your best C&S Hymn and the reason why you choose the Hymn?
My best Hymn is "Ona ara l'Olorun wa.." because the song is in praise of the miraculous God, and it brings hope and faith, each verse and lyrics of the hymn trigger my faith per time in any situation I found myself and victory always end such situations.
Finally, a word for the C&S Youths?
My beloved young ones, I can testify that knowing Jesus (Salvation) is the greatest thing that happened to me, which has given me a sweet, purposeful and beautiful life. Please, don't be deceived or locked down by all the wrongs around you, but seek to know the truth of Jesus and maintain a closer relationship with Him, then add it to all life pursuits and you shall manifest in Glory! Mathew 6:33.
Beloved, you are THE GLORY OF OUR TOMORROW! Hence I can not but say what Apostle Paul wrote to Timothy:
1 Timothy 4:12 Let no one despise or think less of you because of your youth, but be an example (pattern) for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and purity. (Amplified version)
Hence, live a lifestyle that is dead to sin and unrighteousness which is common in our society now, and be outstanding for Jesus Christ by living in Excellence. Both Heaven and the World Shall surely Celebrate You in Grand style soon in Jesus' mighty name.