FORGIVENESS : AN INEVITABLE FACTOR FOR SUCCESS IN MARRIAGE - Olukotun Gideon Olusola
As occasional disagreements are inevitable in a marriage, forgiveness must be an inevitable part of marriage for any marriage/home to be successful.
There are lots of people bitter in their marriages simply because they couldn't forgive an ex from a past relationship. So many people are unproductive in their present relationships because they are still suffering from the fears and resulting experiences of their past relationship. All of these, when understood, can simply be overcome by a sincere act of forgiveness.
In every relationship, forgiveness is very important to maintain a good culture and atmosphere between fellows. However, not so many understand that forgiveness is not what keeps a relationship in progress, but reconciliation. Isn't this why many, in most cases, would say I have forgiven him but don't want to have anything to do with him again. But this is definitely not applicable to marriage.
Even as a Christian, I understand that the work of Christ was not completed by mere forgiveness. Reconciliation was part of the deal and these are two different things.
Pastor Poju Oyemade of Covenant Christian Centre, very recently shared on Twitter that "the act of forgiving must be separated from the restoration of fellowship. Forgiveness is unconditional, a commandment of love regardless of the pain. It is not to seek to avenge wrong done. Restoration of fellowship with a person is hinged on repentance, that is, changed behaviour."
This means you can forgive a man for sexually abusing you but may choose to discontinue your relationship with him. Reconciliation with him should be based on his repentance.
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